Garlic, Holy Water, and a good Bloody Mary (the cure for a Vampire Weekend)

No matter how tempted you are, stay away from Vampire Weekend. They Suck. You will be trying the hide these behind your Dave Matthews CD's in a few years. Though CD's are all but obsolete now anyway. And no one can really see even the most embarrassing MP3's that you own, but you should still feel a sense of shame for enabling these dillweeds.

I have repeatedly tried to go give them a chance. They still suck. The only good that has come from their existence is the surreal Hot Chip cover featuring Peter Gabriel and one more easy way to identify a dillweed (which is the term I have chosen from a long list of potential pejoratives to describe both the band and what I assume to be their stereotypical fan base. Douchebag seems like a natural winner, but as that is the curse-du-jour, I am sure most of those dillweeds have been using douchebag like it is going out of style. Which it is.) Though I will say the chick on the cover of their new album is quite cute, so I do not mind at all displaying the picture in these hallowed halls of coolness.

Worth Wasting Time

If you have some time to kill, hell even if you don't, check out the Black Cab Sessions. Definitely worth the price of admission.

I think I like this

I've been away from the music scene for so long that I feel a bit behind. In Rainbows was my last purchase, and that was a full year ago now. So I started poking around, found this and have decided I like it. So there.

Time to dust off my copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and check into the Chelsea

Rumors of a Smiths reunion have blossomed for Coachella 2009. This is not the first time this dreamcloud has been seeded. It seems automatic now that the fanbase will start this whisper campaign, but if the estranged Mancunians turned down $5M before and have a venomous and litigious past behind them, I doubt it is likely to evr happen. The Smiths reuniting would be like Morrissey getting married and serving roast beef at the wedding.

If there were any substance to the murmurings, I would be the first to try to stop it. Yeah, you heard me. The last thing I want to see is The Smiths as a bunch of fat old men sadly grasping at past glory. It is one thing for Moz to make an ass of himself with his continually degenerating (with rare exceptions) solo career, but quite another if Marr were to stand next to him and agree that this is a good idea. If no one else would stop this madness, I would.

In fact, I have long wanted to be the man who shot Morrissey. Somewhere after Maladjusted I thought it was about time to help him become legendary by dying young and pretty at the hands of a crazed fan. Granted, You Are the Quarry was a decent effort, but let's face it - Stephen Patrick has become Fat Elvis. (Pictured here with an even more grizzled St. Ignatious the Popular.)

And Johhny ain't exactly a Salford Lad anymore either. He can hang out with whatever young band he wants to, but he is just Hugh Heffner with four 20 year-old girlfriends. They are all getting something out of it, but it doesn't change any of the facts.

So when you see me on the news with a blank stare and my hands zip-tied behind my back, you can say you knew me as a nice, quiet man that mostly kept to myself.

The Ting Tings and other things

J: My new favorite band ...

... at least for this week.

The Ting Tings

EG: Love that song. In addition to the iPod commercials it has been on heavy rotation on Sirius. Same with "Hot Hot Sex." And Flight of the Conchords must be coming out with something new because they keep playing "Business Time" which I will invariably crank. I also heard "Losing My Edge" by LCD Soundsystem for the first time and immediately thought of you...but in a good way!


EG: Oh, and I also like "Graveyard Girl" by M83 which you would probably hate.


J: Graveyard girl is a nice throwback to the late 80's ... New Order / Ocean Blue ...

I like this Ting Tings song better. They remind me of what Blondie would sound like if she were young and producing in this decade.

I also finally picked up Vampire Weekend. I had downloaded the album and it grew on me so I bought it.

and Al Green's new album 'Lay it Down' produced by ?uestlove of the Roots. Awesome.

EG: After seeing a few of these YouTube clips, I too am now enamoured of the Ting Tings. They are like a lot of things, but nothing is like them.

Vampire Weekend I have already grown to hate. Sorry. In the Blur vs. Oasis war I chose sides rashly and lost (to be fair Boys and Girls and Country House that they were putting out at the time was not their best work.) I stayed on the fence of the pro/anti Strokes debate until they were a foregone conclusion. I did make the right call on Coldplay by abandoning them after It Was All Yellow. So I must also part company w/ VW lest my batting average go down.

J: I'll give you the ting tings album when you come by. Bring a gig stick or something if you have one or else I'll burn you a cd.

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Upon further consideration...

The Grinderman song No Pussy Blues raises a very poignant question:Are there any other kind of blues?